My RV Driver Fired Me

Today marks the start of the third week of Mark’s Excellent Adventure, which means we have yet another RV pilot in the mix. The first two guys were strangers to me. Scott was slotted in at the last minute of Week One, with some help from (gratuitous sponsor mention) Wheaton World Wide Moving, and Gary handled the RV last week. Both guys did a terrific job, and what could have been a difficult two weeks – I have space issues and don’t do well with strangers – was a lot of fun, primarily because of the adaptability of those two.

This week is different. Not only am I already familiar with my driver – I’ve known Kent for 15 years or so – he actually fired me a couple of years ago.

Kent was the program director for 1070 The Fan for a while, and although the Pacers are my primary employer, I had a side deal with Emmis Communications (The Fan’s parent company) for a long time. My duties at Emmis were not entirely specific, but I was a contracted employee and filled in for hosts when they went on vacation, and was a part of the station’s morning show on game days during the NBA season. One day two summers ago, Kent called and asked me if I would come in and do the afternoon show for a week. He wanted to give Dan Dakich, who had been exiled as IU’s basketball coach despite doing a superb job trying to clean up Cell Phone Sampson’s mess, a shot at doing a talk show. Dan had no experience and wasn’t comfortable going it alone, so I agreed to come in and help steer him through a week so all parties could get a feel for his potential. I didn’t know Dan before this, although I had been extremely impressed with the way he had handled himself in impossible circumstances at IU, and I was curious about how the week would go.

By the way, off topic for a minute, but thinking back to Dan’s brief tenure as IU’s coach reminded me of something. What ever happened to that jock sniffing little university president that always showed up at games in sweatsuits? I can’t remember his name, but you know the guy I’m talking about. The weaselly little coward that hired Cell Phone Sampson, then left the scene of the crime before he could be held accountable, much the same way an arsonist bolts from his work before the flames consume him.

Anyway, Dan and I hit it off, he had a natural aptitude for the work, and Kent was impressed enough to hire Dan as a full time host. I wasn’t at all surprised when Dan did well with the opportunity, and enjoyed being involved as an occasional guest on his program. I do quite a few guest shots on radio shows, both in Indianapolis and nationally, and trust me when I tell you that Dan’s is one of the few that I really enjoy doing. He’s engaging, sharp, and a good conversationalist, and Kent hit a home run with this move.

A little over a year ago, after one of those in studio guest appearances, Kent intercepted me in the hallway and asked me if I had a minute. We went into his office and he fired me. Short and sweet, by the way, which I appreciated. I’m not one of these guys that needs to hear the, “You did a great job, but we’re going in a different direction” mumbo jumbo. Really? I’m doing a great job, but you’re still going in a different direction? If you tell me that, you’re either a) lying, b) an idiot, or c) think I’m an idiot, and all of those are a waste of my time. So, while I wasn’t pleased with the development, I did appreciate the professional way in which Kent handled the situation.

I should have seen it coming, really. The economy had started to go bad, radio as an industry was hurting, and Emmis was having as tough a time as anyone. The issue was money, which I completely understood, but here’s the irony: as I assessed the situation, I realized that the reason they couldn’t afford me was because Dan was doing such a good job that they needed to compensate him accordingly, so they gave him my money! I trained the guy, and now he’s cashing my paychecks. Some would find that amusingly ironic, though I would not be among that number.

Anyway, Kent is now working for me this week, at least in a manner of speaking. The job of the RV driver, other than steering this magnificent beast provided by (gratuitous sponsor mention) Camping World, is to do my bidding. Normally, I’m very self sufficient and don’t really like people waiting on me, so there wasn’t a lot for Scott and Gary to do. That’s going to change this week. I think I’ll need to have the RV washed and scrubbed down, I’m certain I’ll need a variety of things from out of the way shops and stores that I didn’t need before this week, and, in general, I’m feeling the urge to be a complete diva for the next six days. And, to cap things off, I’ll get to fire Kent at the end of the week.

I won’t be unfair, though. I’ll do it just as professionally as he did it to me.

Tuesday’s Journey: Holton to North Vernon

Mileage: 14.2 (this would be referred to as 22.8526848 meters in virtually every other country in the world. Sounds more impressive, so I’ll go with it).

On the iPod: Jay Z’s Kingdom Come CD and NPR’s Wait, Wait Don’t Tell me

P.S.: While it would be inaccurate to say that there’s literally nothing between Milan and Holton, it’s close enough to the truth that there are no pictures today.