A Day in the Life

What, you might be wondering, is a day on the road with The Wish Walk like? Of course, it’s entirely possible that you’re not wondering about that at all, in which case the next several paragraphs will be a complete waste of your time. Feel free to venture on to the numerous x-rated and NASCAR websites that so many people find interesting. I won’t be offended.

Today is a little bit busier than usual. I have an 18+ mile walk from Seymour to Columbus on the agenda, and while that’s slightly longer than normal (for you stat freaks out there, I’ll average 16.58 miles a day and will actually walk a total of 514.25 miles before we finish), it’s a fairly representative day in terms of the actual walking that I’ll be doing. I also have a live interview scheduled with the Bob and Tom Show back in Indianapolis this morning, and after lunch we’ll be taping a segment of Pacers Crate, which has become an Internet sensation (or so I’m told) on pacers.com.

6:55 AM: I wake up, though I’m too lazy to actually get up. My body has some sort of an internal clock, and I almost always just snap awake somewhere between 7:00 and 8:00 every morning. It doesn’t matter whether I go to bed at 11:00 PM or 3:00 AM, nor does it matter whether I hit the sheets after a few drinks or totally alcohol free. On a related note, though I’ve had more than my share of 7-and-7’s – or, as I prefer to call them, 14’s – over the years, I’ve never had a hangover and I always wake up fresh and alert, no matter how much sleep I’ve gotten. Just one of many examples that I’m not normal.

7:13 AM: I roll out and head for the front of the RV. The bedroom is in the back, and since I’m the one doing the walking (plus, I’m exceptionally selfish) I’ve claimed that for myself, which leaves the RV driver up front in the rollaway. I try to be quiet so I won’t wake Kent, this week’s pilot, but I clumsily manage to drop a coffee cup into the sink, shattering it to pieces. This serves as Kent’s wake up call, whether he likes it or not.

7:18 AM: After starting the coffee brewing, I head for the campground’s laundry room. The RV has a washer and dryer – about the only thing this (gratuitous sponsor mention #1) Camping World provided road show doesn’t have is a wet bar – but I have somehow managed to disable it. I am totally incompetent when it comes to any sort of machinery or apparatus that involves moving parts, and I fully expect to inadvertently disable this magnificent beast to the point where we can’t even drive it by the time we’re finished with this adventure. Putting machinery like this in my hands is like giving a Stradivarius to a five year old.

7:32 AM: Internet access out here can be sketchy. Luckily, (gratuitous sponsor mention #2) AT&T has provided us with one of those doodads you plug into your laptop to access the Internet, and today our campground actually has Wi-Fi.  After surfing around and finding a story about a whack job that took hostages because he had issues with Discovery Channel programming (was Deadliest Catch too controversial for him?) and an item about officials in Holland finding three babies buried beneath a home, I vow to never cruise the Internet again. This is the 1,234^th time I’ve made that vow.

8:30 AM: Laundry done. Orange juice and an energy bar for breakfast, along with copious cups of coffee. If you’re a coffee drinker, go out and buy a pound of Tim Horton’s and thank me later.

10:00 AM: Just finished a live interview on The Bob and Tom Show. I’ve known Bob and Tom (and Kristy and Chick) for a long time, they’ve been great to me, and they’ve really helped promote this walk. Today, though, I was on immediately following some comedian who had allowed somebody to wax his ass live on the air. I need to think about getting new friends.

10:20 AM: Getting set to leave and realize that I can’t find my iPod. I’m not too concerned, because I saw it less than an hour ago and I have a tendency to misplace things, so I figure I’ll stumble across it momentarily. Alas, a thorough search of the RV comes up empty, so now panic sets in because I realize that without music and podcasts to occupy me, I’ll be left with nothing but my own thoughts rattling around for the next 300 plus miles. Believe me, that won’t benefit any of us.

10:25 AM: With the iPod out of the equation, I decided to switch to (gratuitous sponsor mention #3) my AT&T iPhone and Pandora. Pandora is a free program that provides Internet music through the phone, and I figured I’d be good to go. I figured wrong.

10:35 AM: No state trooper escort today, so I’m walking against traffic. The shoulders on US 50 are very narrow, so from time to time I’m forced to step off and into the shallow ditch adjacent to the roadway. Unfortunately, I step right in the middle of a thicket full of stickers and spend the next fifteen minutes picking them off of my shoe laces, socks, and pants before – fingers now bleeding – I resume the journey. Could someone please remind me why I’m doing this?

10:55 AM: 25 minutes into the walk, Pandora has crapped out at least six times, and when it does work, it’s for mere seconds at a time. Pandora’s tag line is “Pandora. Internet Radio”. In the interest of truth in advertising, I would suggest changing it to (serious sponsor criticism #1) “Pandora. Internet Radio. Once in Awhile.”

11:25 AM: I come to a bridge situated approximately 100 feet over some unidentified river. The bridge is only about 100 yards long, but there are only a few inches between the side of the road and the edge of the bridge, and over the course of that 100 yards I cling grimly to the side supports as a trio of angry semis go whizzing by at about 70 MPH. Are we having fun yet?

12:00 PM: I’m cruising north on US 11 when I suddenly notice I’ve veered of course and am heading the wrong way down the south bound exit ramp off of I-65. Oops. I nimbly sidestep a series of startled, pissed off motorists and make a mid course correction. Crisis averted.

1:15 PM: I reach our RV, stationed just north of Jonesville, and stop for lunch. We’re joined by Krissy Myers of the Pacers PR staff (our point person, and the one person without whom this whole project would collapse) and Conrad Brunner and Justin Hunt of our Internet department. Conrad is here to join me in taping another edition of the wildly popular cult hit, Pacers Crate. Conrad came to Indianapolis in 1988, the same year I did, and covered the NBA for the old Indianapolis News for many years. This means he’s gone from interviewing people like Michael Jordan and David Stern at the NBA Finals to yukking it up with Yours Truly in a cornfield in the middle of nowhere. That, my friends, is what’s known as a precipitous career decline.

3:30 PM: Following our break for lunch (and a brief rest), I’m back on US 11 heading north. The next ten miles turn out to be relatively uneventful, except for seeing the boyhood homes of John Mellencamp and former Notre Dame and Colt quarterback Blair Kiel. The Kiel home features a huge yard with a goal post planted at the edge, and I’m told that his parents still live there. Also treated myself to a 32-ounce cherry slushy at a Circle K right before I hit US 46 heading into Columbus.

6:30 PM: We roll into the (gratuitous sponsor mention #4) Marsh store on East 25^th Street in Columbus to stock up on supplies, and had a very nice chat with Hugh and David. Good guys. Neither seemed to know who I was, though both thought the walk was a great idea. I toyed with the idea of telling them I opted for the 500-mile charity walk in lieu of a prison sentence for some sort of heinous crime, but common sense prevailed.

7:30 PM: Back at the campground and settled in. Forced to take a cold shower, as I’ve also managed to disable the hot water heater. At least I haven’t rendered the refrigerator useless with my incompetence, and a cold beer and a cigar await. Back at it tomorrow, with a 19 mile jaunt to Nashville in the cards. I’ll leave around 9:30 from the courthouse in Columbus.

You’re welcome to join me. Doesn’t it sound like fun?

Friday’s Journey: Columbus to Nashville

Mileage: 18.3 (Rickey Henderson, baseball career leader in stolen bases, stole 1406 bases in his career. That means he stole 23.97 miles worth of bases in his career. Pretty good. But it’s not 500 miles, is it?)

On the iPhone: AT&T (gratuitous sponsor mention #5) is back in my good graces. Pandora may be unreliable, but I figured out how to sync iTunes with my phone, and it now serves the same purpose as an iPod. Hello, Dan LeBatard Show

P.S.: As usual, photos are available on my Facebook Page (Mark Joseph Boyle)